Category: I Wish I Didn’t Know About This Page 1 of 2

This bit about Google Cloud Platform’s habit of killing everything useful in it has been all over all of the places I look at during lunch and it, despite being hosted on the most noxious platform for putting words out onto the internet: Medium, is worth reading if you have any opinions at all about the methodology that Google uses to poop what they’re not interested in any more out of their software stack (that’s deprecation for those of you who capitalize the word ‘engineer’) and not just because it’s funny. It’s also worth reading if only because it’s written from the perspective of someone who has actually used the things he’s talking about in a production capacity. Typically everything that I read critical of GCP falls broadly under the umbrella of tried this once and I didn’t understand some part of it so it sucks think-piecing. I’d love to think that the idea of building things with an eye toward them being useful for more than 3 months might make a comeback in the not so distant future. People do love to say the word ‘deprecating’ during meetings though.

All of the above said, I’ve never once wanted to invest any effort into getting my head around Google Cloud Platform. As Steve Yegge said in his post, the documentation is godawful and mostly non-existent and I don’t enjoy needing to mess with things when I don’t have to. The decades of IT work have made risk adverse even when I’m just messing around with conceptually. The odds of me learning much about something I know will break and will break by design are next to zero. God forbid I built something useful to a handful of people and then have to keep revising it just to make sure the framework keeping all of that shit together doesn’t silently decide that I’m doing it the wrong way and subsequently requiring me to rewrite something I no longer care about. I have the option of taking that posture because 1) I don’t write any code that any one else should ever read much less use and 2) because I’m not selling people services that may or may not work tomorrow due to engineering whimsy or boredom with something that doesn’t disrupt the paradigm, bro. No thanks and next contestant. I get to be that petty and arbitrary because no one is paying me (well, except my work and I do nothing but manage tools that manage other tools there these days) for things that started out fun and then got tedious quickly. I completely get it. It is fun and rewarding in a punitive way to work on things that sort of work well enough and then move onto another more novel and interesting problem. That is great method of creating things for a hobbyist. No one expects to pay a hobbyist (against a running meter much less) for their sorta working and might not see much new work in the future projects. The evidence for that is everywhere. I think Source Forge is basically a monument these days to projects that started strong and sunk silently into obscurity and obsolescence. The operative difference with Source Forge is that if something there is something people find useful and necessary then after the original author has moved on to other things there is opportunity for other people to pick up where the first person left off. Google has an utterly hobbyist attitude towards the majority of their products and no tangible accountability other than lighting the occasional stick of incense on the altar of Our Lady of The Perpetual Beta to atone for their indifference to any user of their software that doesn’t also work for Google. I guess if you sell enough advertising then you buy the right to just mess around on every front.

Ironically, after all of the Google bashing, I realize that I’m typing all of this up on Pixelbook which is my favorite in an increasingly gigantic stack of powerful and portable machines. The reason I love it so much is because it’s absurdly overpowered for what it needs to do, still has great battery life, and stays the fuck out of my way for the most part. I even get to choose which branch of Chrome OS you want to run on it and even if you make the wrong choice (p.s. the correct choice is the Beta branch) you can just power wash the machine back to newness and start the mucking up all over again in a matter of minutes. I’m acutely aware that they’ll probably never build a machine as cool as this again but I’ll be using this machine until it either rattles apart or isn’t eligible for OS releases any more. I’m betting the latter will likely be the end instead of the former.

Speaking of companies who have have incomprehensible piles of money to burn and utter disdain towards all but the smallest fraction of their users and the vast majority of people writing software for their platform, I also enjoyed this post about the pain of installing software that didn’t surrender 30% of its purchase price for the right to inclusion in App Store. I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be to create anything intended to run on macOS. It makes me wonder if any of the developers that were around for the old days of being a tiny percentage of the marketplace and making cool things for the people who haloed themselves in an aura of rugged and tasteful individualism by buying from the scrappier millionaires are adapting well to the utter irony of those artisanal mass market computer manufacturers dominating the market and using that dominance to make everyone resent their presence in it. While they’re likely making a better living (minus that 30% obviously) these days it’s undoubtedly a much more expensive and bureaucracy-laden process to even get to the point where someone without a Developer license would even be able to install something they’ve written.

Over the years, I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time coaching people through the maze of workarounds needed to accomplish seemingly basic maintenance tasks on their ‘just works’ computers so I feel this pain in a palpable way. My frustration towards the design decisions Apple has made over the past handful of years mirrors the way that I feel towards the way the Gnome project veered much to the dismay of folks who appreciated Gnome 2 for its measured simplicity. I’ll be the first to admit that the Apple demographic may be the worst group to try to explain things to since the idea of a mod-click of any kind seems alien to them, thus the Can’t you just right click title of the article I’m talking about.

While this whole plague that’s killing people while they ignore it thing is going on, I’ve been working completely from home since March so the functionality holes in user controlled security has been the most persistent pain point for me in administering my shrinking fleet of Apple hardware. Every user in my organization now has the local admin account password because I need to give to them so that I can walk them painfully through the process of enabling screen recording and accessibility functions in System Preferences. Super duper cool, Apple. The most frustrating part about all of this is that Apple has yet to create any tools for managing their machines in what should be a managed environment. I know Microsoft has rolled out some paid solutions equal in vexation to the 3rd party JAMF suite that is supposed to allow me to have some degree of control over these precious slabs of silicon individuality but there’s always a way to work around that damage on the Windows side of the house. Again, backwards fucking compatibility motherfuckers!

The list of things that Apple keeps me from being able to do easily and cheaply continually grows. Wanna reimage any machines that thankfully don’t have T2 chips and are running Catalina? Prepare to fuck around with DeployStudio forever just to route around that damage. Need to install or update anti-virus? Get ready to become bffs with csrutil because you’re going to be hanging out a lot. Super cool to decide that monolithic imaging is dead without providing any method for replacing it. Oh yeah, keep your finger on that csrutil button if you want to do something crazy like removing FaceTime or any of the other included software that isn’t necessary for most business cases. In short, it’s awful and again it’s a case of being forced to cater to the whims of their innate need to control all aspects of their machines. Locking down common functionality and intimidating users by popping up warnings about malware and potential harm to their computers is really, really user friendly as is non-standard deinstallation of most software: it’s super easy! You just drag the Application to the trash and later go and find all of the plists it left behind that are breaking other things! It just works (for us)!

Automattic ended up in a battle of wills with Apple wherein Apple wanted them to build in purchasing capability (for domain purchases and non-free hosted WordPress plans) so it could collect its 30%. Luckily, they yielded in the face of angry users and relented. Apple isn’t a company that I’d ever choose to work with but until they make enough decisions that piss off a huge majority of mobile phone buyers most companies are forced to donate a third of their application revenue to the scrappy little computer company worth more than a trillion dollars. My interpretation of their position is that your product should already be worth millions of dollars before you even attempt to besot their App Store with your feeble stab at relevance otherwise they’ll relegate you to working in the gift shop on a commission basis. I liked it much better when the reality distortion field was smaller and didn’t infect and destroy more interesting things. I liked it better when Apple wasn’t so fucking huge and equipped with an infinite supply of blank checks for belligerently hostile behavior under the guise of aesthetic purity. Crazily, I liked it better when pre-SP2 Windows XP was the most pressing issue that I had and that is saying a lot.